My Rainbow Baby 🌈

 Wow! It’s been far too long since I’ve written anything. To say my life took another course would be an understatement. I have been focused on going back to school and I’m proud to say I have my bachelors degree and most recently earned my masters degree in social work. I have been working as a therapist for the past two years. Over the past year, the urge and desire to have another child has grown stronger and stronger. Maybe due to my age and realizing that that window is closing. Several months ago, I decided to start tracking my ovulation. Going back about two years, I found out that I have polycystic looking ovaries and possibly PCOS. This was some discouraging information that made me put my babymaking actions on the side. 

In April, I started tracking my ovulation and found that I had a regular cycle. Within the same month that I started tracking my cycle we started looking at donors. We found a donor through sperm bank and decided to just give it a go. We tracked her cycle using test strips and when we finally saw I was surging we ordered four vials and inseminated on four different days. Just two short weeks later, we got our first very faint positive on a first response. Wouldn’t you know it, the good ole first response. Unfortunately, that pregnancy resulted in a chemical. I was so discouraged and afraid that there may be underlying fertility issues that I considered giving up. However, I felt a strong urge to try again. So with my next cycle, on May 9th, we started tracking again only this time I purchased the Mira. The Mira gives you a specific number versus the test strips that you have to distinguish between a positive LH surge, which can be difficult. We also decided to go with fresh sperm from a private donor instead of frozen from the sperm bank. This cycle was coming on strong, so we moved our date up for insemination from 24th of May to the 21st. 

We flew our donor in from Arizona and inseminated on the 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, and the 26th. Through the amazing use of the Mira, we were able to see that we actually ovulated on 26th of May. I started getting my first faint positive on a first response at 8DPO. At 10DPO  in the afternoon, we got our big fat positive and by later that evening got a positive on the digital. To say I’m excited would be an understatement. It’s hard to believe that with a 17-year-old, a 15-year-old, and a 14-year-old that I would be considering having another child and starting again. At the end of the day, what else is there in life? I’ve always loved being a mom. The rewards of seeing your child grow, knowing unconditional love, I’m leaving a lasting mark. I’m so excited to see what is in store for this new bundle of joy. However, I find myself full of fears that this pregnancy will end far before it’s time. 

All I can do is continue to test and pray that all goes well with this little blessing. I have set up my first prenatal visit for June 23rd at 6 PM. I have chosen to do a VBAC at home during a water birth using only a midwife. I’ve always dreamed of having a homebirth water delivery with no medication and all my family standing by. From what I’ve heard as feedback and medical reviews, I am a great candidate for VBAC. I am hopeful that I will be approved I will be able to have the birth I so desperately want. I intend to distract myself from all this worry by updating my blog frequently with our journey.

Americas Funniest Video

Not sure why this video is so hilarious, but Poor H wiped out!!! 

Journey 1 Video #2

Autism Video for Sonny

Video For Sonny

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pnDuXeuIqU4

Coffee Talk!

Is it really 1:00AM? I am such an old lady and usually find myself counting sheep by 9PM! My only explanation is this new Starbucks iced coffee I bought yesterday and I thought it would be a good idea to drink 2 large cups before bed! UGHHH! Great, I should feel wonderful for our early morning road trip to our camp site.... Yes, we are roughing it in the wild for a WHOLE week! I am so excited, family camping vacations are my favorite! We have all the goodies packed up and ready to go! T's birthday is this week so what a great way to celebrate!

How about this, we went to Win Dixie yesterday, while we were checking out the guy called us FOOLS for camping for a week! REALLY? I didn't know if I should throat punch him or laugh at us for camping in animal infested, 100 degree temps, and prime time for storms daily..... I have shared with several friends our camping plans and you know...  people don't get back to nature enough! Pack your bags, round up the family, get into the woods, and turn off all the electronics!!!! Just get dirty, sweaty, rough, and in touch with nature. We get so wrapped up in social media that we forget it's nice to just take a step back and enjoy YOUR life and the little things! I am not knocking for sure because I do love me some social media, but every now and then I find it refreshing to detox from it.

I am thinking about starting YouTube videos for weekly chats soon.... Not sure how it will go, but it's a thought for now! I think it would be neat and definitely a great way to connect with my followers. I love reading and writing, but sometimes it's nice seeing a face and hearing a voice.... makes it easier to connect and get a better understanding of what's being told. What do you guys think? I am also considering posting a poll to see what you guys want to talk about and if you would like a questions section.... I would love to hear your thoughts, questions, feelings, etc.... It can feel a little one sided and gets a little lonely when there is no interaction, LOL!

I keep looking at the clock, calculating how much sleep I will get if I go to sleep now! Dang Starbucks! How about I deleted all my pictures on my blog tonight! Talk about a mini stroke..... Thank God for GOOGLE, I was able to restore them all! That may be why I am still up because my heart hasn't resumed normal beating yet.

So, I spent Friday night in the ER because I have been having trouble with my cycles since the miscarriage in August. I have been having two cycles a month for five months! WHAAAAA!? I can handle one, but two? Ummmmm, no! I have been putting it off, but it has gotten worse. Luckily I only have cysts on my ovaries and a polyp, both should clear up on their own and if they don't birth control bills can usually fix it. I am following up with my OB on the 29th to check those and my hormone levels. The fertility medications we take as surrogates can really throw off our normal cycles and hormone levels. I don't think enough surrogates think about the realistic harm we may be doing. I mean yes, we think about it as a "possibility" and know it could happen, but until your facing reality I don't think you ever prepare yourself or accept the risk.

I read a blog update recently about a surrogate mother who had a full hysterectomy and almost died after her C-section with her surro baby! Things you never think will happen to you! They do happen for sure. Thank God for the amazing medical team, prayers, and determination that brought her back to her amazing family. So scary to think it could be anyone of us at any time. Surrogacy is truly a magical journey, but there are risks and very ugly parts to it. I thank the stars that none of those I have experienced. I am to this day very thankful and blessed to be on the journey I am.

Okay, I need to get into bed before I am of no use tomorrow when we set up camp! Although, I do NOT enjoy that part at all. I wish I could wiggle my nose and snap my fingers and it all be done! I truly enjoy being alone with my family, just enjoying each other without any interruptions! Have a wonderful week y’all!

Tomorrow

I need to get something's off my chest! Maybe these words don't help you, but it's how I feel! Stop saying tomorrow because if you didn't change today, ain't nothing going to change tomorrow. We're not promised tomorrow, if you don't have the strength and the courage to change today, what's going to change tomorrow? You're going to be the same person today that you're going to be tomorrow, so get off your butt and do something to make your dreams come true!!!!

You have to motivate from within! You have to have a healthy balance of motivation internally and externally! Nobody calls me every morning telling me get up eat right and go exercise! I do, I motivate myself! You have to be able to do the same, get off your butt take control of your life! Change the things you want to be changed, be the change that you want to see! Stop relying on supplements and surgeries. I'm relying on me, you have to change you, nobody else can change you! NO surgery NO supplements can do what you can!

Can you do me a favor, take "but" out of your vocabulary! BUT is only an excuse to validate your inactions, BUT will keep you down! It will keep you from achieving your goals! So many of us go through life like we have no goals, like we aren't special, like we can't do it! You can do it!!!!

When people talk about who is the strongest person they know, who inspires them most, and who motivates them they say someone famous or a loved one. When someone ask me who motivates me, who inspires me, who is the strongest person in the world.....do you know what my answer is? It's me! I inspire me, I motivate me, I am the strongest person in the world because I can get through anything! Anything that I set my mind to I will achieve! I can't is not in my dictionary, it's not in my vocabulary! I can, I will, I do!

This is not just for working out or eating right, this is your life! Any aspect of your life! This is about working to become a better YOU! Life wasn't meant to be easy, it's made to be lived!